“Trust is “a product of vulnerability that grows over time and requires effort, attention, and full engagement.” –Brene Brown
Trust is a key element of healthy, meaningful, flourishing relationships. It creates feelings of safety, reduces stress, and promotes self-confidence. We use the word “trust” to:
Interpret what people say
Describe behaviors
Decide if we feel comfortable sharing information
Indicate whether we feel other people have our interests at heart
As parents, teachers, leaders, family members and friends, it is certainly important for us to trust and be considered trustworthy, yet in a world where people seem to be increasingly detached and self-centered, how do we develop trust?
First, let’s explore the components of trust by breaking down the Trust Equation.
According to the trust equation, to become more trustworthy, we must
Increase our credibility
Increase our reliability
Increase intimacy
Decrease our self-orientation
CREDIBILITY
Our credibility relates to the words we speak and how honest we are with ourselves and others.
RELIABILITY
Our reliability has to do with our actions.
INTIMACY
Intimacy relates to our emotions and the safety or security that we feel when entrusting someone with something.
SELF-ORIENTATION
Self-orientation relates to our caring and is revealed in our focus (us or them?)
Next, check out this list of 10 ways to build trust and increase your trustworthiness.
10 Key Ways to Establish Trust and Nurture Healthy Relationships
Be true to your word. Honor your commitments, and don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Communicate effectively. Think through your thoughts and feelings so you are able to be clear, say what you mean and mean what you say.
Be honest. Be brave and tell the truth. Lies diminish trustworthiness.
Make decisions carefully. Consider yourself and others who will be affected by your decisions.
Build trust gradually. Building trust is a daily commitment. Take small steps. Don’t expect too much too soon.
Do what you believe is right. Sacrificing your values degrades trust. Integrity is respected.
Value the relationships you have and don’t take them for granted. Consistently showing someone you are there for them is a way to build trust.
Admit your mistakes. Honesty encourages trust. Showing vulnerability builds trust.
Recognize others. Recognizing others builds trust and good relationships. Constant self-promotion degrades trust.
Help people. Authentic kindness builds trust.
REFLECT
AND LASTLY, HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
What do you see as the relationship between trust and vulnerability?
How have you recovered trust in a relationship that was tarnished?
How can you recognize others and show people that you care about them?
The importance of trust in successful relationships cannot be underestimated. I encourage us all to be intentional with the way we show up in our relationships.
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